All About the Little BB

Heyyyy

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 01:21:06 -0500

D’s new thing:

D: Mama, draw train [hands me chalk]
Me: [draws train.]
D: [considers the drawing for a moment] Don’t like it. [erases my hard work.]

Hilarious jerk.

"Nowwww."

Sat, 14 May 2011 23:22:17 -0500

One of D’s favorite things is to explain how things happen step by step and then inexplicably finish it with a long, drawn out “nowwwww?”

E.g. when explaining how the trains work: “Trains go fast, zoom zoom, make loud sound, trains stop, people get on, nowwwww?” lol, yes, somewhere, someone is getting on a train right now.

Best $10 I ever spent

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 22:31:02 -0500

Inexplicable month long terror of taking a bath finally overcome by some mr bubble bath and foam alphabet letters. Enormous sigh of relief

Yes I am the kid's mom

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 02:02:00 -0500

Me: [To fellow parent in the Barnes and Noble kids’ section] Your son is so cute!
Other parent: Thank you, so is yours. …He is yours, right?
Me: Yes
Other parent: You just look so young, like you’re his sister.
Me: That’s the second time this week that someone has asked whether I’m the mom or the nanny, but I assumed it’s because we don’t look anything alike.
Other parent: Haha, yes, actually he doesn’t look much like you. Does he look like his dad?
Me: No. Anyway, your son is very cute!

No one ever thinks he’s my kid. Normally I don’t care, but… D does this thing where if he’s unhappy, he says, “wanna go see mama” even if I’m RIGHT THERE. So if we’re in public and he’s screaming and I’m scolding him for screaming, he starts repeating, “Go see mama, wanna go see mama!” and people look at me like I’m some kidnapper or horrible evil nanny.

Luckily most days he’s good and well-behaved.

Be right back

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 23:43:43 -0500

D’s new thing is to say, “D be right back; going Whole Foods get groceries.” Then he leaves the room for a bit and comes back and starts “making soup.”

Aint too proud to bribe

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 01:58:01 -0600

Yesterday, on a whim, I tried to bribe D to poop on the potty. I knew he had to poop, so I took off his diaper and said, “Look, if you poop on the potty, I’ll give you ice cream.”

“Mama. Poop on potty, get ice cream?”

“Yes, if you poop on the potty, I’ll give you ice cream. You want to go poop on the potty now?”

“All done poop on potty.”

“But you’ll get ice cream.”

“ALL DONE ICE CREAM.”

“Ok, all done ice cream.” So here, I left the room to check on the dinner. 30 seconds later, he ran out of the room saying, “Poop! Poop! Poop!” I knew before looking that he didn’t poop on the potty, but what I thought was hilarious was that he still expected the ice cream. After I cleaned everything up, I had a sweet toddler face in mine saying, “Mama. Ice cream?” So much for “never a miscommunication” lol.

Dyadyas at the park

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 23:54:00 -0600

We were at the park and D was scooping up the pebbles (AGAIN with the pebbles!) and putting them in a pail when this other kid came over and dumped them all out. D looked a little surprised, but was unfazed. The dad came over and said, “Billy, no! We don’t disrupt other people’s stuff!” In protest, the kid picked up rocks and tossed them (not at anyone in particular, more to make a statement) and the dad said, “No, Billy! We don’t throw rocks!” So of course Billy did it again and again and again. The dad kept saying “NO NO NO” and smacked his hand a little. Then the kid ran away and the dad followed. D watched, enthralled, the whole time.

After they left, D followed them with his eyes for a bit. Then he leaned over to me and said, “Dyadya [said] *NIL ZYA*!!!” His narrations of stuff that happens around him are the best.

Face asking

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 23:44:23 -0600

D has taken to getting right in people’s faces to ask a question. Very, very sweetly. Eg, after he spent the day with my mom (during which he helped make cookies), I came to pick him up and was holding him on my hip when all of the sudden I had a smiling little toddler face right in mine saying, “Mama. More cookies?” (He’ll always say your name to get your attention first.)

This morning, he talked to his stuffed dog the same way. He got nose-to-nose with the dog and said, “Dog. Play blocks?”

I know I say this a lot, but this getting-in-your-face-to-ask-questions thing is THE cutest thing EVER, the end.

If I were a property manager, I would charge a kid deposit

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 17:25:59 -0600

The fact that you have to pay a pet deposit but not a kid deposit is starting to not make sense to me.

Things cat partially/completely destroyed: 0

Things cat tried to destroy: 1

Things kid partially/completely destroyed: 5 (at last count)

Things kid tried to destroy: oh so much more…

Cookies!

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 15:09:42 -0600

D: Make cookies!

Me: You’re making cookies? What kind of cookies are you making?

D: Rice cookies.

Me: That actually sounds pretty yummy…

The simple things

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 12:42:00 -0600

We go to the park with the nice, huge play area and baby swings, and big kid swings, and a sandbox, and lots of space for running around. There’s also some kind of fitness area, presumably for adults to use (presumably in the early morning before kids get there because I’ve never seen anyone seriously using the area for fitness). And everywhere, there are tiny pebbles; it’s a relatively new trend to use them instead of sand.

So, forget the nice huge play area, the baby swings, the big kid swings. Forget the sandbox and running around space. The toddlers congregate, I kid you not, at the adult fitness area, and spend the bulk of their playground time putting pebbles on the flat surfaces and then brushing them off.

It’s seriously the best thing ever, because it’s a great way to start a conversation with another adult. Also, you don’t have to run after your kid, ever. They’re sitting there playing endlessly with the rocks.

It's somewhere...

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:52:44 -0600

[in the parking lot, coming out of the store pushing the cart with groceries and D]

Me: Now *where* did I park my car?
D: [gestures vaguely behind himself]

da-cyoon!

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 09:24:38 -0600

Me: So, the word for get down is “da-cyoon.”
Mom: In Russian?
Me: No, in baby.

Zucka just jumped up on the TV stand again and hub told him to get down. D RUNS up to me and says, “ZUCKA CLIMB THERE, DIMA CLIMB *NO*. PAPA ZUCKA DA-*CYOOOON!*” I said that Papa didn’t want Zucka to set a bad example, so now Zuck’s not allowed up there either. I wonder if that was gratifying for the B.

But you let Zucka!

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 00:13:23 -0600

Me: Don’t even think about trying to climb on the TV stand.
D: Climbing on TV stand boh boh? Hurt?
Me: Yes, if you fall you could get hurt. Don’t climb it.
D: Zucka climb.
Me: But Zucka’s a cat and he won’t get as hurt if he were to fall.

The way he says “Zucka climb” is so funny. It’s like he’s saying, “But you let Zucka climb!” It’s so indignant. Oh B, if Zucka jumped off a bridge, would you follow? No, don’t answer.

Toothpaste

Mon, 07 Feb 2011 00:58:48 -0600

When D says “toothpaste,” it sounds like “stupid.” It’s especially cute when he says “mommy’s toothpaste.” I’m always like, “mommy’s WHAT? Oh.”

Well then.

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 20:25:00 -0600

I’m sure this will become less and less endearing as time goes on, but for now, it’s hilarious that when I ask D to take something to his room, he does so immediately and willingly, but when I walk by his room later, I find that he’s put the object in question on the *very* threshold of his room, *right* next to the door. Attempts to ask him to put things on his bed instead have so far been unsuccessful.

Cooking Show

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 19:43:35 -0600

D likes to pretend to cook. I watched him cook for a while today. He uses a mixing pot, a spoon to stir, a knife to chop, and a blender. The best part is that he narrates everything, so I feel like I’m watching a cooking show by toddlers for toddlers. I tried to get it on video, but when he saw me filming him, he got all artificial. Too bad we don’t have brain cameras.

Awwwww

Sun, 30 Jan 2011 20:22:00 -0600

I passed out from exhaustion on D’s floor again today while he played with his toys. (These 5am mornings need to stop!) When I woke up, I found that he had put a blanket on me while I was asleep. My kid is awesome.

Thwack Mommy, read!

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 23:24:00 -0600

Fell asleep on the floor today, completely and totally exhausted from being up at 5am - FIVE AM. Then SOMEONE - I’m not saying who (D!*ahem*) woke me up by hitting me over the head with a book. “Mommy, read!” and then: “All done mommy sleep. ALL DONE.” No, D -you’re the one who’s all done with sleep. I still enjoy being well rested, thank you.

(At which age do babies learn that they are separate from their parents?)

And then he proceeded to spend the rest of the day being absolutely adorable.

My life looks surreal on paper

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 19:27:41 -0600

This evening, I was fed jambalaya by a short person narrating his life in the third person.